I laid in my bed trembling as the darkness of the night loomed and sorrowful thoughts perpetuated my mind. At this moment, I regretted the decision that I had made to go to a boarding school just because it was prestigious, and I would be celebrated for it. At this moment, I wished that I didn’t place such high importance on being celebrated but rather on being comfortable. At this moment, I was ten years old and attending Monroe College in Jamaica.
You would have thought that I would have learned my lesson then, but I didn’t. I would go on to live my life based on the opinions and celebration of others until I was about 20 years old. For an entire decade, I felt out of place and alone. I felt like an outsider because I didn’t consider myself apart of certain groups. The truth is not I was not living for purpose or to manifest my destiny. For the majority of my conscious life, I felt like something was missing and it took me a while to realize why. The why is best illustrated by the following verse:
“Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your father in heaven. So, when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites in the synagogue and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly, I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may remain a secret. Then your father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you”
Matthew 6: 1 – 4
From this verse, I was able to come to the conclusion that my reason will determine my reward and the shallowness of my reason will also determine the shallowness of my reward. One’s reason for doing something is synonymous with their purpose and one’s purpose is an integral part of one’s destiny. In a season in my life, my purpose was to be liked and be seen with importance by my peers. This is why I was concerned with how much likes I received on Instagram or why I found myself in prestigious positions such as being on my school’s Board of Trustees even though it wasn’t fulfilling, or it became second nature to think about what others would think of me before I did something. In this season of my life, my purpose was shallow, so my life was also shallow.
There was no sense of fulfillment cause my reward was how many more people would ‘like’ me or how many more likes I would receive. I had always felt like I was missing something and what I was missing in my life was a sense of purpose. Purpose to me is a guiding light in everything that I do, and it leads to fulfillment and joy. When I sat down with Darrel Frater who is a consultant with Sharp Shooters Global and my cousin, I was able to put my purpose into words. My purpose in life is to advance the philanthropic mission of providing assistance and necessary resources to underserved and at-risk communities through motivation, research, and influence. To be able to provide and be impactful within these communities while simultaneously maintaining a comfortable and financially secure lifestyle. We did this because we understood the importance of purpose in fulfilling destiny and I strongly recommend that you write down your purpose as well.
Purpose allows you to determine your success by that which aligns with your values and beliefs instead of what popular society defines as success. When I am purposeful, I am living my life according to God’s will and everything I do is interconnected. When my reasons are purposeful, my reward will be bountiful. If you want to manifest your destiny then it begins by finding your purpose because without a guide, then it is impossible to know your destination.
You might not know your purpose now but continue to seek it out. Continue to look for a higher calling and to make decisions that are aligned with your passions, beliefs, and values. Continue to seek that which brings you joy and fulfillment and rebuke that which is just a means to an end. It is commonly said to live your best life and today I want you to live a joyful and fulfilled life because only that life will be your best.